On Being Home

I've found, over this week-long break, that I quite enjoy college.  I hadn't necessarily realized it until I began to write my French paper for this week.  The prompt was "a cultural conflict" and it's been so long since I was in France that I couldn't remember any from there.  So I made the brash decision to write it about my life at college versus my life at school.

I was going to include it in this post, but it's obviously in French and I don't want to translate it all.  If you come and see me in the dorm when we get back I'll pull it out and read it to you, aight?

Anyways, the main idea behind it is that the things I miss from college are my freedom and my friends.  It's not that I don't have either here, it's just that they're...different.

I love my friends from back home to death.  You guys met Madison and Andrew and you'll agree they're pretty awesome.  But the thing is, even when I'm home they're not physically as close as my #thirdfloorscholars friends are.  I wrote in my paper about how when I want to talk to someone at midnight at school, I walk down the hallway and make Evan talk to me for a couple hours which of course keeps Hemraj and Andrew up.  There!  That's three people I've affected with my presence at midnight.  If I want to talk to someone at midnight at my house, I have to call someone and then my entire family can hear my conversation through the walls and I might as well have just talked to them in the first place.  Yick.

This is the second time I've stayed at home since being at college.  Though I had to go back a bunch for my wisdom teeth, I always came back that evening (after doing my laundry and eating delicious food).  Why?  Because I love you guys!

I learned a lot about myself over Thanksgiving break.  I realized that the last couple weeks I haven't been giving thanks at all.  My general prayers are "Thank you God, for making the flute choir music easy" or "Thank you God, for my mug not having mold in it."  But when everyone was talking about how they were thankful for this and that and the other thing, I realized I hadn't been giving thanks for a while.  New plan!  Give thanks more!  Aight, got that settled.

Next problem:  I learned some stuff about my friends this week that I can't say I especially wanted to know, but was rather offended that no one had told me themselves about it.  Then I figured that I needed to be more open.  My opinions of such things are very clear and honest, but I don't care if other people go against my values.  I want y'all to know that.

WHATEVER YOU DO, I WILL NOT JUDGE!  Y'all stop being worried about what I would do, or say, or think about you.  Everyone is the same under the "not Sara" umbrella.  Are you me?  No?  Then you can do whatever you want!  I just personally will not partake, and I might have to remove myself from the situation.

This all lead to a semi-mental breakdown about whether I should be having more fun.  Have I already missed out on these life experiences?  Do I need to be doing more with my life?  I'm only going to be 18 for two more months!

I decided no.  I told Emma the other day (it was actually quite a long time ago) that I was having fun and if she wanted to have more she should be hanging out with me.  I'm having fun, and I'm doing it legally and in a morally sound fashion!  Oooh I should get a bumper sticker of that!  Or learn to say it in Wolof and post it on our door.

The tie-in between these two problems is that I was having a mental breakdown and I didn't have Evan to run down the hallway to to complain to about how life is hard and I'm so boring and everyone hates me.  Unfortunately for him (and Hemraj and Andrew by default) I solved that problem by being totally fine in every way.  Darn, he'll never get to have that conversation.

Aight, y'all have a nice day now!