AIDS

The book I've been reading in French class has really made me think more about AIDS and how it's discussed and thought of in different cultures.  The book is called "A l'ami qui ne m'a pas sauve la vie" which means "to the friend who didn't save my life."

This book is semi-autobiographical like all the other books we've read this semester.  The author Herve Guibert, discusses his diagnosis (with AIDS) and how his life changes dramatically afterwards.  I believe this book was written in 1988, just three years before Herve's death.

Hearing about Herve's struggles with the disease makes me wonder why we have the ridiculous stereotype that only gay men get AIDS.  I know now why we have that.  It's because we never talk about anyone else!

I originally hated this book.  Why on earth do we have to keep reading about people who die!  I want to read about happy people!  Not dead people!  Goodness gracious!

As I read Herve's acceptance of death and his symptoms, I begin to like him more as a character.  As compared to his partner, Herve is a more easily sympathize-able character.

My perception of gay men with AIDS changed again on Thursday in class when we began the movie "Les Nuits Fauves" which translates to "the savage nights."  I thought I would like this movie way more... however I did not.

Last Tuesday, we discussed the director/author/protagonist Cyril Collard in class.  His movie, originally a book, is also semi-autobiographical about a bisexual man who discovers he has AIDS.  After hearing some of his history (this was produced about the same time as "A l'ami...") I thought I would much prefer Cyril over Herve any day.  I have a favorite quote from him which I wrote in my book:

"Certains s'ecroulent parce qu'ils se laissent ecrouler par la maladie.  D'autres se battent."
"Some are crushed because they let themselves be crumbled by the illness. Others fight."

Cyril said this in response to Herve's book.  He thought that Herve was just waiting for death and didn't care about life anymore.  I agree with him somewhat.  Herve died from complications from attempted suicide.  It makes sense to me to not let your illness get the better of you.  You should fight against it!

However, from what I've seen from Cyril's movie, I absolutely detest him as a person.  He told his girlfriend after having sexual relations on multiple occasions that he had AIDS and he had known all along.  He purposefully lets her get into dangerous situations in addition to giving her AIDS.  Cyril's male partner also has a girlfriend that he is cheating on.

None of this is acceptable to me.  Nonetheless, after Cyril's death (two years after Herve's) the president of France declared it a loss of a great cultural influence.  If this is your culture, I'd rather not be a part of it!

Herve, after learning his diagnosis, immediately tells his partner and is careful.  I support his decision about this.  Maybe he's accepting death, or maybe he realizes his previous behavior would be risky for others and so JUST CALMS IT DOWN.  I feel sympathy for Herve, but I've none to spare for Cyril.  Maybe he's "living" but he doesn't have to do it like that.

As I write this, I'm listening to the soundtrack to RENT, one of my favorite musicals.  A great many of the characters have AIDS and they do stupid things as well, but none of them are vicious and they never purposefully put harm upon one another.  As a line from one of the songs goes:

"Living with, living with, not dying from disease!"

It's all how you put things into perspective.  But I don't think perspective is a reason to dislike someone else's personal work or put other people in danger.

I'm glad the war on AIDS continues, and hopefully some day they will find either a cure or enough preventative measures to help everyone in the world.  Maybe in the future no one will have to write an autobiography about AIDS ever again.